This time of year is always a little off for me. One... it is my birthday on the 29th and I have the hardest time with the concept of celebrating myself. And two, it is the anniversary of when I went inpatient for 32 days at the Renfrew Center. It has been 13 years but for some reason every year around this time I think about that time spent there... the women I met, how alone I felt and my parents disowning me while I was there.
This year I am going to work on celebrating myself by myself. It is important for me to be able to celebrate me even if there is no one around. I don't know why I feel I need that external input to feel worth something. The only thing that matters is that I feel I am worth something. Well, at least that is what I tell myself.
BlueRoad is a multimedia project about the life of Patches O’Nassis, the 1st person to live fulltime in a teardrop trailer pulled by a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Documenting her life on the road with her dog named Yoska, chicken named Esmeralda, Harley called Blue and teardrop trailer called TicTac. Empowering herself and women everywhere to follow their dreams no matter how wild they may seem. Anything is possible.
I was just telling a friend about you yesterday, and how amazing you are. You have been a gift to me, so even if you are alone on your birthday, know that I will celebrating with you in spirit!
ReplyDeleteThank you! We will have to celebrate both of our birthdays on my way back thru. :)
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ReplyDeleteCan't help it... had to come back and read it again... get that book written! LOL! I didn't tell you when we had lunch the other day how much I relate to a lot of what you have written about. I was put in a girls home in my junior year of high school... and pretty much disowned and alone while I was there too. Couple years ago was down in Texas, and just driving down around Corpus Christie had me working through those feelings again. the landscape brought back so many memories from there and the feelings associated with the whole ordeal.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I believe it is so important to say it like it is about my life. We live in a world where only the good and happy are acceptable but yet everyone has some not so good parts. If these not so good parts aren’t shared it feels like you are the only one that has these not so good parts. It’s important to share and to celebrate making it thru each time the not so good parts arise in present or from the past.
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