First, I really need to stop adjusting my life for others. Just because I am available to be anywhere doesn't mean I have to be anywhere. If I have an idea where I want to go it is just as important I go there as someone else's need. Even if my place is a want and theirs may be more of a need.
Second, I have a hard time with what is being selfish and what is living my life. Would anyone stop what they were doing and go a few hundred miles out of their way to help me. I'm sure there would be that person, like myself, who would... But would everyone? Probably not.
Well... Anyway... I am back to figuring out another plan. I thought I figured out what I was going to do, for the most part, until I have to be in Montana. Now I have a couple of empty weeks to do whatever. Fabulous really! But there comes a certain amount of planning. I am a bit out of the way in the wrong direction of where I want to be and there isn't much in between here and there. Internet access may be hard to find to sit down and do the research necessary. I use to have an an atlas but unfortunately it got drenched and ruined a few months ago and I haven't replaced it so I am depending a lot on Google Maps and Internet research to figure out where I can stay.
Then, I need to figure out how far out of a direct route to Montana I can afford. I don't pay for a place to sleep but gas does add up. Do I go a direct route maybe stay a few days a few places, maybe get to Montana a few days earlier than I planned... Or do I throw all that out the window... Head to the coast like I originally planned and have a beautiful scenic adventure thru Oregon and Washigton.
Also, I have to consider the weather. This is windy season in the southwest so I ride early and stop early. Will I be riding thru more rain in the northwest... Is it worth day after day of rain to have a somewhat scenic ride where all I'm doing is worrying about if I can see the road. So many things to think about. In the end I usually go with the gut.
The last two days while waiting to head to what was going to be my next stop and figuring out an alternative I've been staying in this little town called Pionche Nevada. They have a free RV park next to their city park.
Spaces aren't huge but work for me. There is water but it's shut off for the season. Garbage cans are available which is nice. The pool is across the street but those bathrooms are locked... Probably until the pool opens.
Cute little tourist town that is pretty much closed down right now. They do have a cafe that is open and I've had a few meals there. They have fee internet. The library does not have free internet... It's a daily, weekly, monthly charge and quite expensive. Not quite sure the reasoning for that but not very welcoming... In my opinion.
Pioche works for 2 nights while I gather myself. Then off to who knows where... To see who know what. Any which direction will be a great adventure.
OH my, the crazy life of "what other people want" and "what the heck is it that I want!" My opinion is that you must ground and center yourself and own your feelings with the depth that I hear reflected in your wonderful song lyrics. Also I bet you could find another atlas at a used book store or go to the library and copy a few pages out of one for a few dimes. Being tech savvy as you are surely the computers you have can guide your path! At any rate, sit down and write some music, that always has guided my steps! HUGS from the mountains and be well, I am sending you peace from NC! (PS go to the beach!!!!)
ReplyDeleteThe first year or so I didn't rely on technology at all... then I got lazy... so when everything looses it's charge I don't have a map. I do usually know where I am and where I want to go but an atlas would be good. Will look for one once I get to MT. :) Thanks for the Hugs!! Right back at ya!
DeleteShoot!!! I just wrote a long response but it didn't publish...
ReplyDeleteYour post got me thinking about how I too suffer from people who have been accustomed to me being there for them at the drop of the hat. I took pride in being "that friend" who would do what it took to make your life easier, but then felt resentment when my actions were not reciprocated or appreciated. It took a lot of years to put a stop to that and to accept my responsibility in that madness. I allowed family and friends to take advantage of me...shoot, I even volunteered to be used. When I finally stopped...I was cursed out, shunned, and made to feel guilty...really guilty. The beauty of this...I was reborn into the person I am now. The sucky part...my friends and family no longer call, well, I take that back...they call every once in awhile to attempt to make me feel guilty for living my own life, and to try to pull me back. When I attempt to share how happy I am and how I am enjoying where I live and what I do, they quickly find a reason to hang up lol. So...our situations may be completely different (or similar) but what I would like to say is - Good for you!!! stay the course, live your life. I found that I filled all my friend "slots" with negative people and had no room for positive people, I have about 50/50 now :)
Safe travels, if you find yourself driving through the Grand Canyon area this summer I would be happy to show you around.
diane. make a list of all the positive people. only deal with people on that list. if i'm not on that list, tough. just don't deal with them. when a new positive person shows up put them on the list. in other words don't deal with the grumpy old people. some ain't old, either. no grumpies. by the way they are acquaintances not friends. keep sharing your happiness.
Deleteice cream. raz
Diane, I hear you 100%.. truly sad. I think it is a shame how people waste people. I won't be south again until fall... but if you are still around the Grand Canyon I would love to meet up!
Delete"hey you don't have a real job, i need you to do something for me now". i'm self employed. people used to say that all the time. the folks that i worked for always thought i had a real job. when i shut off the money tap, well i lost all my relatives. good. they don't shun me, but they don't call or visit. i paid for my niece's first semester of college. all good. i sent several people to college. all good. i told her that for 2nd semester i wanted a grade sheet for 1st semester. well she shows up without grade sheet and didn't get any money. good. that was 20 years ago, still no grade sheet.
ReplyDeletewhat i tell people that try to take advantage of me is that i need work done on my truck and i don't know when it will be fixed. or i love to do that but i have an appointments with my lawyers or doctors or something. when they ask why are you seeing a lawyer, i don't say anything. what i do is none of their business.
your friends don't take advantage of you. now people you know, well that's a whole different cup of tea. read once that we have about ONE real friend and a bunch of "people that we know". that is me. you solved the problem in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph. you are not being selfish, your "friends" are. you don't have to kick them to curb (although some of them it would be to your benefit if you did). just tell em that you would love to ride 500 miles in the snow and the rain to shovel manure out of their barn, BUT you are supposed to pet sit or something. if something comes up that you want to do, just say well damn pet siting end early. what a lucky break for me.
most people that what you to ride 500 miles are cheap. cheap. did i say that. they can hire someone to do it. i come to mine. when we had cats we had a high school friend of the family who worked with me. $10.00 an hour. we used to pay him $20.00 a day when we were gone to came over in the morning and evening to check water and food. also heat and cool. he spent most of the hour petting and playing with the cats. everybody including the cats thought that was a hell of a deal.
hell tell them you have a pet rattlesnake that be coming with you. maybe lizards or scorpions. speedbump the biker. i think you are afraid to hurt their feelings. they don't have any. they want you to do something for them, not something that will benefit you. you. you. follow your paragraphs 2 and 3, you will be fine.
remember "i would really love to do that BUT" think fast for why you can't. damn i'm so sorry. don't be. i make most people go to "miss sonic", that's panasonic my recorder. miss sonic is terrible she doesn't always get the message. same with email. email can be spotty. gives you time to figure a good excuse not to do it. moochers can be persistent.
now if it's something you want to do like baby sit their hot tub, by all means go. figure a mileage rate to operate your bike, then tell em that i would really like to came BUT i'll need X bucks to cover gas as that is outside my gas budget. that will probably shoot most of them in first place. good. i'l bet you only get about 10 mpg pulling that trailer.
ice cream. raz
I totally had other plans for this spring but unfortunately I didn't listen to what I wanted and now can't do them... Owell... lesson learned. :)
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